Turning the Next Chapter

It has been so important for me to tell you how I’ve been feeling. As my friend said ‘even superman needs some days off’. I wanted you all to know that just because I look like I’m at the top of my game, there is a lot of debris from everything that I’ve been through. Everyone has debris, it just hits us at different times.

However, I’m figuratively turning the page. It is time to look at all the things that I have fought for but haven’t been able to enjoy. I have been simply going through too much personally. I’m starting this week by recreating my World of One Room. I’m redecorating!

When I was in hospital for various reasons, my team created a safe place for me with me. It was ingenious. Due to having an endless imagination, (I find this a necessity in chronic illnesses), we worked on creating a haven that was mine. It meant I could cope with being so limited in one room. It wasn’t easy at times, but it was a mighty relief too.

If I wanted it to be sunny but not hurt my eyes, I imagined the sun in my room - the warm glow kissing my cheeks. I could paint stars across my ceiling and go anywhere in the world, just through my imagination. My room was a shapeshifter and it was perfect because it did not include stress.

For a year or so, many reasons have made me lose that precious imagination. Do you know, it’s really hard without it. My coping mechanism went out of the window. So I’m going back. This week I shall start painting again metaphorically and in reality. The reality will be having some of my laughter therapy and starting to do my Laugh -O- Grams again. Creativity is in my blood, I just need to brush the dust off.

Also, I’m starting to write again. A Girl Behind Dark Glasses covers the severest part of this illness but it only covers the institutionalised part. It is there to bring real awareness to an illness so severely misunderstood. This next book will be a sequel, the what happened next part.

Thank you for giving me time. The black dog is still there, but in my redecorating I decided to give it a basket to curl up in. If I can’t get rid of it yet, I might as well make it more like Home.

I’m writing this in the middle of the night, so night night to those in the UK and good morning to those in the rest of the world!