Dear Bug…We are Halfway There!

The weeks have been flying by and as of today, I am officially 20 weeks gone! It has been strange because my general M.E. has improved a little bit overall. I can walk around the downstairs of my house (with support) and have been able to play the piano. I even ventured for a walk down the path of the garden! It is so lovely to be able to have that freedom – I will never take it for granted.

There is a real mixture of cases where women with M.E. have either really improved in pregnancy or have gone into a setback. I was worried that I was going to be one of the latter cases, but thankfully I seem to have made some positive changes.

So what has changed since I last updated you? Well, the Hyperemesis Gravidarium has got a lot better. I was hospitalised with it six weeks ago, when it was at its worse. The reality of my situation came to light, as it took four anaesthetists just to get a cannula in! It has been decided that I will probably have to have a PICC line put in because my veins are not big enough for the right sized cannula in. I have to eat little and often, but I am pleased that it has got a lot more bearable. Despite still feeling nauseous most of the time, I’m able to manage it and it means I have a new lease of life!

I had to come off a lot of neurological medications, which has been anything but fun! It has been decided that it is important that I stay on the gabapentin, at a lower dosage. It helps me with my neurological pain, particularly all the nerve and eye pain. I suppose one of the benefits of being pregnant is I could make sure that the medications that I am on are beneficial. I was on a lot of medications that literally weren’t doing anything. In fact, my body was addicted to the medications. Apart from the Gabapentin, I have come off most of the neuro drugs. Due to there being such a lot of medications that I needed to come off, the obstetrician decided that I would need to have support from a psychiatric midwife. This is not because I am psychiatrically unwell, it is because I need supporting in all aspects of my health. However, I have been waiting for this referral to go through for three months now and still there is no news! I suffered quite a bit from anxiety, and generally not feeling myself. They said that this was not only due to the medications I was coming off, but also the general pregnancy hormones. A double whammy!

Most of the time, I am feeling a lot more stable. I feel slightly overwhelmed with everything that is happening but I have been very lucky that I have found a lot of friends who are mums from all different walks of life, to gain understanding of what my body is going through. That is where social media has been a blessing, being able to go onto Instagram and find other mums who are disabled and are still winning in life.

I have decided that it is important to blog about my experience, even though I wasn’t sure about it at first. I have found it so useful to find other mums who have been through pregnancy and have overcome adversity to get there. If those mums had not been writing about their experiences, I would have really struggled to cope with everything.

I am now enjoying the second trimester! I am learning more about my capabilities and how strong I am. Even though I have felt pretty useless at times, I know that I am actually doing quite well and have been through worse. I feel completely blessed to have got to this point, and I hope that I will have more to tell you next time!
Over and out for now!